May 22, 2014

Thoughts About "Black Women of Substance"




My daughter Krystal responded to a Facebook post which told Black women they have to bring something to the table "except being sexy". I want to share her comments. It's great food for thought and worthy of further discussion.
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I've seen quite a few posts about sexy women and "ratchet" women and it bothers me. What kind of women do you people know? Who are you surrounding yourself with? The women I know, in abundance, are women of substance; powerful educated, graceful, sassy and classy. My mother, my sister, my Sorors, my friends, they inspire me with their education, wisdom, strength, savvy etc on a daily basis.
Someone on the Internet wants you to believe Black women are shameful trollops who need to get their “stuff” together. Some of us want to feel better than others by agreeing with this garbage. It bothers me! It really does. So, I had to say something.

There are 3 sides to every story. Don't be the one to throw stones to hide your hands. It takes two to tango. If a woman has made a bad choice in a mate, then there is another party that has chosen to be a bad mate. There is responsibility there too!

Don't shame girls for their sexuality, and praise boys for their machismo! That's B.S. Everyone wants to feel and look their best. But the adults that guide them have to help them put things into perspective. Everyone needs to take the time to find out who they are. Everyone will make mistakes along the way. Thankfully (or hopefully) each of us will continue learning and growing until our final days. The mistake I make today does not have to define me for the rest of my days. Again, I know wonderful, together, prosperous women who have overcome addiction, were teen mothers, dropped out of college or have overcome other adversity to become people I love and admire. They are defined by their journey, not one moment in time along the way.

Finally, don't talk about it, BE about it! We have some serious issues in our community. The revolution will not be on FACEBOOK. You have a complaint, let me see you out in your community working to change it. Post your solution to the problem, talk about your contribution to change, and stop trying to mask your hate as truth. I'm not buying it.

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