A Movement Grows: Black Lives Matter-Stop Killing Us

There is a national organized movement designed to foster the position that “Black Lives Matter”. The goal of the movement is simply stated “Stop Killing Us”. Many people believe that police violence against the Black Community is a figment of our imagination. But, a review of the significant data supports the position that a change is necessary and change must come now.

If you examine the facts, here are some significant indicators of the problem:

·         Last year 2014, 1149 people were killed by the police in the United States. At least 304 Black people (26%) are included in that number.

·         More than 100 unarmed Black people were killed by police in 2014. 40% of all unarmed victims of police were Black.

·         There is a 4 times higher chance of being killed by police for a Black person compared to a white person.

·         In March 2015, 36 Black people were killed by police (one every 21 hours). 47% were unarmed.
In April 2015, 31 Black people were killed by police (one every 23 hours). 42% were unarmed.

·         ZERO police officers were convicted of a crime for killing a Black person while on duty in 2014.

 

Unfortunately, some people, Black and white, seem to believe that “this is just the way it is”. Data also shows them to be wrong. People around the world are watching, calling for America to do the right thing. Even though there are more Black people in Missouri than in Canada, only one Black person nationwide was killed by police in 2014. It seems to matter where you live. Black people are 5 times more likely to be killed by police in St. Louis than in New York City and 10 times more likely to be killed by police in Oklahoma than Virginia.

Protestors across the country are demanding change including police accountability for use of deadly force, ending racial profiling, review of systemic abuse by some local police departments, and protection for the right to protest. In addition, protestors are calling for a representative police force and the appointment of a special prosecutor for all deadly force cases.

A better understanding of the problem of police violence in our communities helps everyone see the need for change. The data helps us realize that the situation must be addressed if progress is to be achieved. Again, the goals are simple: “Black Lives Matter”-“Stop Killing Us”. America-Do the right thing.

Sources:

wetheprotestors.org

mapping police violence

Read More

The Economic Significance of Millennials on America

Millennials, the young Americans born between 1980 and the mid-2000s, are the largest generation in the U.S., representing one-third of the total U.S. population in 2013. With the first groupt of Millennials only in their early thirties, most members of this generation are at the beginning of their careers and so will be an important engine of the economy in the decades to come. 

Read More

Through the Looking Glass: Remembering Oscar Week 2015 - Common and John Legend

My friends, I've had a tough week. It reminds me of Langston Hughes' poem "Mother to Son". You know the one..."life for me ain't been no crystal stair".

First, I listened to former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani's remarks telling a political group that Barack Obama, the President of the United States, "doesn't love America". My first thought was "how stupid is that", followed by the thought "there they go again". No, he didn't go "birther" on us, claiming that the President wasn't born in America, but rather eluded to elements in Obama's background and locations where he lived, etc. as reason to come to the conclusion that he "doesn't love America". It's amazing me the lengths that some politicians who don't want to leave the spotlight will go including making inflammatory comments to ensure themselves sometime in the media. Sarah Palin is a perfect example of that group of "has beens".

Dorothy Dandridge

Okay, so I put that all aside as I settled down to watch the Academy Awards. Yes, I know Hollywood has a diversity problem. It is obvious by the exclusion of African Americans in the list of nominations and the lack of recognition both in front of and behind the camera. Nothing new. It's been 75 years since Hattie McDaniel won the Best Supporting Actress Oscar in 1939 for her role in "Gone with the Wind". Sixty years ago, in 1954, Dorothy Dandridge became the first African American, male or female, to be nominated for a performance in a leading role.  It was almost 50 years later (2002) that Halle Berry won the Oscar for best actress in a leading role. Fifty years ago (1964), Sidney Poitier won best actor in a leading role for his performance in "Lilies of the Field".  Even when Steven Spielberg's "The Color Purple" was nominated for something like 11 awards in 1985, the Oscars didn't materialize. No, I don't watch the Oscars from year to year because it saddens me that racism in Hollywood changes so little over the years.

Denzel Washington

I don't intend to include every Oscar winner or nominee, but I don't want to neglect mentioning the six Oscar nominations and awards for Denzel Washington. He won an Academy Award in 2002 for Best Performance by an actor in a leading role for "Training Day" and in 1990 for Best Performance by an actor in a supporting role for "Glory". His Best Performance by an actor in a leading role nominations include (2013) "Flight", (2000) "The Hurricane", and (1993) Malcolm X. His Supporting role nomination was his 1988 role in "Cry Freedom". 

 So moving on with my story, what slaps me in the face next are the disrespectful remarks of a host on the show "Fashion Police" to a young starlet walking the red carpet? Guiliana Rancic's comments on Zendaya Coleman's locs (dreadlocks) both floored me and offended me. To be honest, her remarks hurt my soul. The starlet decided to opt for long deadlock extensions for the Oscars. Although she received a fair share of complements, Fashion Police host Rancic said she felt like "she (Coleman) smells like patchouli oil and weed."

Guioliana Rancic and Zendaya Coleman

Coleman posted a lengthy and intelligent response about her hair:

“There is a fine line between what is funny and disrespectful. Someone said something about my hair at the Oscars that left me in awe,” the actress posted on Twitter.

“I was hit with ignorant slurs and pure disrespect. To say that an 18-year-old young woman with locs [dreadlocks] must smell of patchouli oil or ‘weed’ is not only a large stereotype but outrageously offensive,” Coleman continued. “I don’t usually feel the need to respond to negative things, but certain remarks cannot go unchecked.

“There is already harsh criticism of African-American hair in society without the help of ignorant people who choose to judge others based on the curl of their hair,” she added.

Coleman listed notable people who also choose to wear locks, such as her own father, her best friend, Ava DuVernay, Ledisi and Harvard professor Vincent Brown. She went on to state that none of these people smell like marijuana.

Rancic eventually issued an apology and claimed that her comments had nothing to do with race.

The Academy Awards program itself held a variety of political comments regarding women rights, pay inequality, gay rights, immigration pro and con, and even the lack of diversity in Hollywood.

Common and John Legend

The highlight of the night for me was the uplifting performance of John Legend and Common as they presented their masterpiece "Glory" which was soon to win the award for Best Original Song. The moving visual, staging the presentation at the Edmund Pettis Bridge and including the determined marchers of all races reminded me that persistence and determination would assure that we will overcome the obstacles still before us and win our freedom. The compassionate remarks of Common and John Legend raised my spirits as I watched David Oyelowo who portrayed Dr. King in the movie Selma, with his face wet with tears and I saw others in the audience like actor Chris Pine visibly moved.

Well, clearly we have a long way to go, but with persistence and determination "we shall overcome". 

(Disclaimer: For the record, the author of this post wears locs.)

Read More

House Speaker John Boehner Tries to "Rear End" President Obama-Again

Could it be that House Speaker John Boehner led Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu to believe that his invitation for the prime minister to speak before Congress in March was bipartisan?

"It appears that the speaker of Congress made a move, in which we trusted, but which it ultimately became clear was a one-sided move and not a move by both sides," Deputy Israeli Foreign Minister Tzachi Hanegbi said on a Tel Aviv radio program.

Boehner's invitation for Netanyahu to speak on Iran, extended without consultation with the White House, has stirred partisan tensions. The White House called it a breach of diplomatic protocol. House Democrats have met with Israeli Ambassador Ron Dermer to register their displeasure, and some have said they will boycott the speech.

Nonetheless, Hanegbi indicated that Netanyahu would still make the March 3 speech, which also comes two weeks before Israeli elections.

"The Republicans know, as the president has already made clear, that he will veto this legislation. So in order to pass legislation that overcomes the veto, two-thirds are required in the Senate," Hanegbi said. "So if the prime minister can persuade another one or two or another three or four, this could have weight."

He said that the speech could still help secure the two-thirds vote needed to override President Obama's promised veto on any new sanctions on Iran.

Interesting that the Republicans went against protocol and invited the Prime Minister to speak to the U. S. Congress in an effort to circumvent our President, America's leader. How shifty is that! For Netanyahu, the speech offered a high-profile chance to push his top objective: derailing negotiations to arrest Iran's nuclear weapons program, which he's convinced will produce a deal that leaves Israel vulnerable. The timing of the speech, two weeks before Israeli elections, could also give Netanyahu a political boost. We'll see if the plan works and if this move will be successful.

Boehner's move again tells the country and the world of the GOP's political animus against the President. Let's see if Netanyahu benefits in the Israeli elections and can change the minds of the U. S. Congress. . Regardless, our President continues to move forward.

Source: Talking Points Memo

Related article: Boehner's Netanyahu Ploy Runs on the Rocks: Our View. USA Today's Editorial Opinion

Read More

Black Women on the Move: Leaders of Tomorrow

Black History Month is a great time to remember the leaders of our past and celebrate the warriors of the present.

We've highlighted some of the "Men to Watch" who will probably be the important Black leaders of the next generation. It's time now for the ladies, "Black Women on the Move" who are ready and able to lead.

Read More

Tomorrow's Black Leaders: The Next Generation

Often times we only focus on historical figures during Black History Month i.e., Dr.King, Malcolm X, and Frederick Douglas.

History has it's place and tells us where we've been and how we got to this place in the present. Remember, the past moves us to the future. Take a look at some of the up and coming Black men who will probably become important  leaders of tomorrow.

Read More

"The Assets": Circle of Treason Thriller

My romance with Netflix (new logo and all) continues to supply my need for new dramas that offer deliciously interesting characters caught in webs of mystery and intrigue. What kind of chum would I be if I didn’t share with my friends? Being loyal and true blue compels me to let you in on my recently discovered treasure trove of hidden gems. Join me on my journey, and open doors to new adventures compliments of Netflix and your television set.

Read More

Salute of "Hope and Defiance": Black Power at 1968 Olympics

 

African-American athletes Tommie Smith and John Carlos outraged the Olympic Committee by presenting the Black Power salute as an act of protest during their medal ceremony at the 1968 Summer Olympics in Mexico City. Their political gesture influenced civil rights history.

On the morning of 16 October 1968, U.S.A. athlete Tommie Smith won the gold medal in the 200 meter race with a world-record time of 19.83 seconds. Australia's Peter Norman finished second with a time of 20.06 seconds, and the U.S.A.'s John Carlos won the bronze medal with a time of 20.10 seconds. After the race was completed, the three went to the podium for their medals to be presented. All three were wearing Olympic Project for Human Rights badges.

Read More

Let's Talk Black History: Unknown Contributors to the Struggle

Well, it's February 2014. During Black History Month, we can count on hearing about the historic contributions of Frederick Douglass, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., W.E.B. DuBois, Marcus Garvey and even President Barack Obama. However, there are many unsung heroes who have contributed to our nation growth and prosperity while advancing the condition of African Americans..

Irene Morgan

You may well know Rosa Parks and her role in the civil rights struggle, but can you tell me about the contributions of Bayard Rustin, Irene Morgan, Charles Hamilton Houston, and Pauli Murray? Oprah Winfrey and Madame C. J. Walker  are well known African Americans who become millionaires and contributed generously to move the struggle forward. Are you familiar with Annie Turnbo Malone, William Still and Benjamin "Pap" Singleton who also used their fortunes to change the fabric of America and the lives of the country's African American population?

 

Charles Hamilton Houston

Paul Robson is an American icon. Among his other accomplishments, he was famous for his portrayal of Shakespeare's Othello, but do you know who wowed British audiences playing Othello in the early 1820s and donned "white face" to play the title role in Richard III?

 

William Still

It has been said by some naysayers that you can keep information from a Black person if you put it in a book. There are African Americans who "put it in a book" and preserved important account of African American lives. Are you familiar with the "Father of the Underground Railroad" and his meticulous accounts of slaves escaping to freedom? The Philadelphia Press employed a  correspondent to detail the lives of America's Black troops during the Civil War. In 1902, a Black woman published her memoir,  Reminiscences of My Life in Camp, which preserved vital information about the Black experience during the Civil War. 

 



In 1864, the son of a slave and her master published Clotel: the President's Daughter widely considered the first novel by an African American. The story line was controversial tracing several mix raced descendants of Thomas Jefferson, a reference to Jefferson's long rumored relationship with Sally Hemings. In addition to his other novels, this author was an abolitionist, lecturer, playwright, and historian.

 

Inquiring minds want to know the answers to all these questions and the stories of these unsung heroes. Visit Ronda Racha Penrice's article in the Grio about 13 unknown African Americans and their contributions to the struggle. Most of these quite warriors were unknown to me, but I enjoyed expanding my knowledge of African American history in the U.S.

Read More

The 42nd Wedding Anniversary of The Senior Greens!

42 Years of Greatness

On this day in 1970, My Parents, Henry and Celestine Green, were wed in holy matrimony. During those 42 years, they've managed to design a blueprint of love, happiness and romance that has inspired their children, their family and their friends.

Anyone who has spent at least 5 minutes in the presence of my parents can testify to the passion they share for each other. They are living proof that you can be successful in life, have a successful marriage and raise successful children.

I am thankful to have these two wonderful role models in my life. They have been a positive impact on my life and I am proud to call them my parents.

Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad!

Read More

Living With Lupus

By Janel Green

In the fall of 2010, my skin started to experience severe irritation. The breakout began with my hands and then spread to my stomach, back and neck. I began seeing a dermatologist in order to determine what was wrong with my body. In November, I was officially diagnosed with Lupus. Identifying the problem was only the first step in the learning process. I've decided to put together a help list of information that I have discovered since being diagnosed in 2010.

10 Things I've Learned Since Living With Lupus

1. Know Your Meds. It could take months before your medicine starts to work. In my case - 9 MONTHS!  My doctor failed to mention this fact to me. Now, whenever I get a new prescription, I ask what to expect.  When will it start to work? What are the side effects? Is there anything I can do to make taking it more tolerable? Don't be afraid to ask your doctor or pharmacist about new medication.
2. Know The Side Effects. I never knew that the medicine that suppresses my immune system has crazy side effects. The pain medication I've been prescribed always makes me nauseous. Eventually, I will have to stop taking one of my prescriptions because it causes osteoporosis, cataracts, facial swelling, weight gain, muscle wasting, and diabetes. Another medicine I take causes damage to the retina over time resulting in loss of vision - its effects are irreversible. Because of this, I have to get my eyes checked every 3 months.
3. Focus on the positive. Sometimes life sucks... but it could always be worse. I've learned to truly value the positive things in my life. There are days when I struggle to do simple things like brush my teeth, tie my shoes, or hug my husband. I personally know someone that had to have all their teeth removed because of an almost fatal reaction to a prescription medication. The medicine caused their tongue to turn black and swollen.  It put so much pressure on their teeth that they had to be extracted. My husband spent years struggling with a diabetic ulcer in his foot which eventually lead to an amputation. The point is that there is always someone going through something worse than you. Don’t spend too much time questioning why something bad is happening to you.
4. Stay Out of the Sun. I never knew why my mom (who has Lupus) never went to Walt Disney World with the family when I was growing up. Exposure to the sun can activate the symptoms of Lupus. By limiting my time out in the sun, I can reduce the chance of skin irritation.
5. Have a Bedtime.  I know that I can stay up till 3 in the morning playing video games...  But my body needs at least 7 hours of sleep or I might have a flare up the next day. To flare up means that your body's immune system is active, inappropriately releasing a variety of factors that lead to the inflammation in my joints, rashes, and a feeling of ickyness.
6. Eliminate the Sodium. When I first got sick, my face, hands and feet would swell up like balloons. I eat a lot of vegetables, so for a snack I might eat some celery. There is sodium in celery. Once I discovered this I began to research the foods I ate so that I could monitor my salt intake.  I did not know that sodium is naturally found in many of the healthy foods I enjoy.  Now that I know this, I try not to add additional salt.
7. Don't See Assistants. Sometimes the Doctor's office will schedule you with anyone except the actually Doctor. You don't have to see the Physician's Assistant. You don’t have to go to the Nurse Practitioner.  You can request the Physician. During a visit with a Nurse Practitioner, I complained about my skin breaking out and how uncomfortable I felt.  Her response was; “Ewww, you're making me itch!” Since then, I request my Rheumy and NOT his assistant.
8. I'm Not The Only One. The scars on Seal’s face are caused by Discoid Lupus.  Toni Braxton has Microvascular Angina which is caused by Lupus.  Nick Canon has Lupus Nephritis which affects his kidneys.  Other celebs with this disease include rapper Trick Daddy, model Mercedes Yvette, and the late Michael Jackson.
9. Lupus Can Be Lonely. There is one person in my life that I thought would be there for me, but when they found out I was sick they stopped talking to me.  That was a huge disappointment, but I will go on.
10. I Can Live With Lupus. After being diagnosed with Lupus, I've become dedicated to learning about the disease and raising awareness for it. The color for Lupus Awareness is Purple. May is Lupus Awareness month. My favorite color is purple and I was married in the month of May. Coincidence?

If you are interested in learning more about this disease and how you can help find a cure, visit www.Lupus.org

Read More

The Optimist Creed

Promise Yourself -

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.


To talk health, happiness and prosperity to every person you meet.


To make all your friends feel that there is something in them.


To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.


To think only of the best, to work only for the best and expect only the best.


To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.


To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.


To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give every living creature you meet a smile.


To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.


To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

~The Optimist Creed was authored in 1912 by Christian D. Larson 

Read More

Nail Health

Did you know your nails can reveal clues to your overall health? A touch of white here, a rosy tinge there, or some rippling or bumps may be a sign of disease in the body. Problems in the liver, lungs, and heart can show up in your nails. Keep reading to learn what secrets your nails might reveal.

• Pale Nails - Very pale nails can sometimes be a sign of serious illness, such as:
• Anemia
• Congestive heart failure
• Liver disease
• Malnutrition

• White Nails - If the nails are mostly white with darker rims, this can indicate liver problems, such as hepatitis.

• Yellow Nails - One of the most common causes of yellow nails is a fungal infection. As the infection worsens, the nail bed may retract, and nails may thicken and crumble. In rare cases, yellow nails can indicate a more serious condition such as severe thyroid disease, lung disease, diabetes or psoriasis.

• Bluish Nails - Nails with a bluish tint can mean the body isn't getting enough oxygen. This could indicate an infection in the lungs, such as pneumonia. Some heart problems can be associated with bluish nails.

• Rippled Nails - If the nail surface is rippled or pitted, this may be an early sign of psoriasis or inflammatory arthritis. Discoloration of the nail is common; the skin under the nail can seem reddish-brown.

• Cracked or Split Nails - Dry, brittle nails that frequently crack or split have been linked to thyroid disease. Cracking or splitting combined with a yellowish hue is more likely due to a fungal infection.

• Puffy Nail Fold - If the skin around the nail appears red and puffy, this is known as inflammation of the nail fold. It may be the result of lupus or another connective tissue disorder. Infection can also cause redness and inflammation of the nail fold.

• Dark Lines Beneath the Nail - Dark lines beneath the nail should be investigated as soon as possible. They are sometimes caused by melanoma, the most dangerous type of skin cancer.

• Gnawed Nails - Biting your nails may be nothing more than an old habit, but in some cases it's a sign of persistent anxiety that could benefit from treatment. Nail biting or picking has also been linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder. If you can't stop, it's worth discussing with your doctor.

Though nail changes accompany many conditions, these changes are rarely the first sign. And many nail abnormalities are harmless -- not everyone with white nails has hepatitis. If you're concerned about the appearance of your nails, see a dermatologist.


Source: webmd.com

Read More

Home Remedies: Hangover

A hangover is caused by excessive Ethanol being introduced into the body, this causes an increase in urine production which dehydrates the body leading to a decrease of essential fluids in the body and especially the brain which is the main factor which results in headaches and a feeling of lethargy.

• Symptoms:
• Dry Mouth
• Headache
• Bloodshot Eyes
• Nausea and Vomiting
• Dizziness

• Remedies:
• Antacids like peppermint and chamomile tea may help quell an upset stomach.
• Drink plenty of water or fresh juices to rehydrate yourself. One of the main causes of a hangover is dehydration, however skip acidic juices like orange and opt for apple instead.
• Alcohol causes loss of potassium from your body. Eating a banana may help regain lost potassium.
• Nausea can be treated with ginger. To counteract the effects of the same, drinking ginger-ale is highly recommended.
• Sports drinks are highly recommended as they help regain lost glucose in the body.
• Other clear liquids like soup are recommended until the stomach is strong enough for solid food after which easy to digest foods like toast are ideal. Consume a lot of water before you go to bed. This should provide some relief to the dehydrating effects of alcohol. Drink lots of water even after you wake up.

• It’s a good practice to eat something while and after you are drinking. This helps reduce the rate at which alcohol enters your blood and thus can help reduce the after-effects.
• Take vitamin C tablets. These help break down the alcohol content in your body.
• Never drink on an empty stomach. Food helps to absorb some of the alcohol and aids the body in digesting it faster. 
• Try to eat starchy foods to slow down the alcohol absorption. 
• Limit yourself to less than 1 drink per hour. 
• Try to alternate your alcoholic drinks with nonalcoholic beverages such as water.
• Stick to non-carbonated drinks as carbonation can speed up the alcohol absorption.
• Try to avoid sweet drinks (and sugary foods) while you drink. The sweet taste of the drink can make it difficult for you to judge how much alcohol you’re actually consuming.
• One of the earliest recorded remedies for a hangover came from the ancient Romans who on the suggestion of Pliny the Elder (Gaius Plinius Secundus) took to consuming raw owl eggs while sometimes opting for fried canary. Through the years, the accepted remedy for a hangover still varied with 1878 Paris World Exposition demonstrated a cure composed of a mixture of raw egg yolk, Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, salt and pepper while in America, people took to consuming a mixture of Coca-Cola and milk. Known author Ernest Hemingway himself swore on tomato juice and beer as being the cure.
• And remember, a good cure for a hangover is plenty of sleep so get a few more hours in than normal!

Read More

Health: Best Snacks 100 Calories or Less

It’s March. The New Year is still fresh, and I’m sure we are all still implementing our “New Year, New You” way of thinking. In my continuous quest to maintain my recent weight loss, I came across this list of snack foods which contain 100 calories or less.

Sweet Treats:

• 5 Nabisco Nilla Wafers
• 1 Whole Foods Market Two-Bite Brownie
• 1 Healthy Choice Mocha Fudge Swirl Bar
• 9 Tootsie Roll Midgees
• 1 pouch Keebler Sandies Right Bites Shortbread Cookies
• ½ cup Sharon's Lemon Sorbet with 1/4 cup blueberries
• 1 Skinny Cow Fat Free Fudge Bar
• 1 Nestlé Butterfinger Stixx
• 12 vanilla Miss Meringue Minis
• 4 Country Choice Certified Organic Ginger Snaps
• 1 Vitamuffin Vitatop

Savory Bites:

• 29 pistachios
• 60 Pepperidge Farm Baby Goldfish Crackers
• 1 Jolly Time Healthy Pop 100 Calorie Mini Bag popcorn
• 25 EatSmart Café Fries
• 12 Back to Nature Sesame Ginger Rice Thins
• 12 Quaker Quakes Cheddar Cheese Rice Snacks
• 40 Rold Gold Classic Style Pretzel Sticks

Dairy Delights:

• 1 Laughing Cow Light Creamy Garlic & Herb cheese wedge and 3 Triscuits
• 1 Kraft Polly-O Superlong Twist-Ums string cheese stick
• 1 Yoplait Light Smoothie
• ½ cup low-fat cottage cheese with 5 strawberries

Hearty Helpings

• Campbell's Soup at Hand Blended Vegetable Medley
• 1 hard-boiled egg with 1 slice Melba toast
• 4 slices Sara Lee Honey Ham with 2 teaspoons honey mustard, rolled in lettuce leaf
• ½ mini bagel with 1 ounce smoked salmon

Fruits & Veggies

• 2 cups raspberries
• 28 grapes
• 1 cup blueberries
• 1 cup mango chunks
• ½ medium cantaloupe
• 15 strawberries dipped in 1⁄4 cup Cool Whip Lite
• 45 steamed edamame (green soybeans)
• 2 tablespoons each of mashed avocado and chopped tomatoes stuffed in 1⁄2 mini pita
• ½ red bell pepper dipped in 3 tablespoons hummus

Source: goodhousekeeping.com

Read More

Empty Nest Syndrome

Empty Nest Syndrome is a feeling of great loss or sadness when a child leaves home to go to college or just to get out on their own.

For some, not being involved in your child’s everyday life and this is not just for mothers, but fathers too, may create a temporary identity crisis. You may find yourself depressed or anxious experiencing unaccountable tears or simply being highly emotional. You may wonder who you are and what are you worth, if not as a parent.


When our children are in high school, they begin to form new friendships, and start going out on weekends. We worry about so many things during this time and rightfully so. With drugs and alcohol abuse at an all-time high, it is a frightening time for parents. While we must be diligent in keeping the lines of communication open, we must also remember that our children need some privacy too. As much as we wish they would tell us everything, the fact is, they will not. We have to respect that. All we can really do is let them know that we are there for them, no matter what. 

When the time does come that our children marry or graduate from high school and leave for college, it can be difficult to deal with the emotions that we feel. We try to hide our sadness from others because these events in a child’s life are supposed to be happy occasions. While we are happy for our children, we are also feeling a deep sense of loss. We have to remember that these feelings are perfectly normal, and not be afraid to seek out comfort from friends and family.


Even though this time in a mother's life can be a difficult time, it can also be a time of refreshing and a time for new beginnings. It can be a time of reflection, and a time to rejoice for a job well done. Believe it or not, this can truly be a significant and positive transition and period of growth for you! 


Here are some tips to help:

• Re-invest in your marriage/relationship: As you begin to re-discover your partner, you may be surprised to find that, though you got along with each other, you had really just been roommates in the past. Having kids that are plowing through adolescence can put many families into survival mode. Others managed to raise kids as a single parent and not only were their kids their responsibility to raise, but they were also their companions. The loneliness of a quiet house can be devastating to a single parent who is going through Empty Nest Syndrome. Now is the time to get out and meet some new people. Whether you are interested in dating is irrelevant. Just be proactive in meeting some people who have shared interests. There is no shame in starting to live again after your kids have moved on.

• Relish the time alone: You now have that peace and quiet that you have been wanting. Remember when they played their music too loud, their friends were too noisy and you wondered if there would ever be peace again? Well, your “peace” is available right now! What are you going to do? Read? Travel? Re-decorate? How will you use your quiet time? Make a list.

• Travel: Make your world bigger. When was your last trip or vacation? You don’t have to go around the world, just get out of town. Expand your world view. Pick a place and go. Explore. Your children are making their world bigger just by leaving home. Now it’s your turn. Where are you going?

• Utilize your talents: Raising children has been a full time job. Now they are gone and you need to replace that, you need another way to do your special work. What are your strengths? What are your skills? How can you use these to help others? Whether it’s through church, community, or more global, your gifts are needed. What are your special gifts? How are you going to use them?

Life is a journey. Consider this time of your life a step forward, a step in the right direction. You now have your very own life, so go lead it! 


Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Sources: letlifein.com, lifescript.com

Read More

Internet Dating: How Your Race Affects the Messages You Get

As a single, professional female, I found it hard to meet men in conjunction with my everyday life. After much thought and many talks with singles in my similar situation, I decided to try internet dating. I tried several sites and never had that “connection” until my interaction with “Jr.”. We instantly formed a bond, and have been together since the beginning. Of course our meet was a “chance” occurrence that has blossomed into something wonderful, but also could have become just another statistic in the internet dating world.

I continue to have an interest in helping others find that “special” someone, whether it be via internet or just old fashioned face to face meets. In my quest to further this goal, I came across this article that I found to be of some interest.


Here are some highlights from the article (Source: blog.okcupid.com)

• Black women write back the most. Whether it’s due to talkativeness, loneliness, or a sense of plain decency, black women are by far the most likely to respond to a first contact attempt. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and, overall, black women reply about a quarter more often that other women.
• White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.
• White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them.
• Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.
• White guys respond less overall. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they in turn get the most replies.

• Exactly What to Say in a First Message:
• Be literate - Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs.
• Avoid physical compliments - Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.
• Use an unusual greeting - We took a close look at salutations. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The more informal standard greetings: how’s it going, what’s up, and howdy all did very well.
• Bring up specific interests - Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection.
• If you’re a guy, be self-effacing - Awkward, sorry, apologize, kinda, and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.
• Consider becoming an atheist - Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.

Do you think the information listed here is helpful? Leave a comment below to let me know what you think. Since I don’t completely agree with the total content of this article, I will be posting some of my findings and “how to” tips for internet dating in the future.

Read More