Empty Nest Syndrome is a feeling of great loss or sadness when a child leaves home to go to college or just to get out on their own.
For some, not being involved in your child’s everyday life and this is not just for mothers, but fathers too, may create a temporary identity crisis. You may find yourself depressed or anxious experiencing unaccountable tears or simply being highly emotional. You may wonder who you are and what are you worth, if not as a parent.
When our children are in high school, they begin to form new friendships, and start going out on weekends. We worry about so many things during this time and rightfully so. With drugs and alcohol abuse at an all-time high, it is a frightening time for parents. While we must be diligent in keeping the lines of communication open, we must also remember that our children need some privacy too. As much as we wish they would tell us everything, the fact is, they will not. We have to respect that. All we can really do is let them know that we are there for them, no matter what.
When the time does come that our children marry or graduate from high school and leave for college, it can be difficult to deal with the emotions that we feel. We try to hide our sadness from others because these events in a child’s life are supposed to be happy occasions. While we are happy for our children, we are also feeling a deep sense of loss. We have to remember that these feelings are perfectly normal, and not be afraid to seek out comfort from friends and family.
Even though this time in a mother's life can be a difficult time, it can also be a time of refreshing and a time for new beginnings. It can be a time of reflection, and a time to rejoice for a job well done. Believe it or not, this can truly be a significant and positive transition and period of growth for you!
Here are some tips to help:
- Re-invest in your marriage/relationship: As you begin to re-discover your partner, you may be surprised to find that, though you got along with each other, you had really just been roommates in the past. Having kids that are plowing through adolescence can put many families into survival mode. Others managed to raise kids as a single parent and not only were their kids their responsibility to raise, but they were also their companions. The loneliness of a quiet house can be devastating to a single parent who is going through Empty Nest Syndrome. Now is the time to get out and meet some new people. Whether you are interested in dating is irrelevant. Just be proactive in meeting some people who have shared interests. There is no shame in starting to live again after your kids have moved on.
- Relish the time alone: You now have that peace and quiet that you have been wanting. Remember when they played their music too loud, their friends were too noisy and you wondered if there would ever be peace again? Well, your “peace” is available right now! What are you going to do? Read? Travel? Re-decorate? How will you use your quiet time? Make a list.
- Travel: Make your world bigger. When was your last trip or vacation? You don’t have to go around the world, just get out of town. Expand your world view. Pick a place and go. Explore. Your children are making their world bigger just by leaving home. Now it’s your turn. Where are you going?
- Utilize your talents: Raising children has been a full time job. Now they are gone and you need to replace that, you need another way to do your special work. What are your strengths? What are your skills? How can you use these to help others? Whether it’s through church, community, or more global, your gifts are needed. What are your special gifts? How are you going to use them?
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
Sources: letlifein.com, lifescript.com
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