I continue to have an interest in helping others find that “special” someone, whether it be via internet or just old fashioned face to face meets. In my quest to further this goal, I came across this article that I found to be of some interest.
Here are some highlights from the article (Source: blog.okcupid.com)
- Black women write back the most. Whether it’s due to talkativeness, loneliness, or a sense of plain decency, black women are by far the most likely to respond to a first contact attempt. In many cases, their response rate is one and a half times the average, and, overall, black women reply about a quarter more often that other women.
- White men get more responses. Whatever it is, white males just get more replies from almost every group. We were careful to preselect our data pool so that physical attractiveness (as measured by our site picture-rating utility) was roughly even across all the race/gender slices. For guys, we did likewise with height.
- White women prefer white men to the exclusion of everyone else—and Asian and Hispanic women prefer them even more exclusively. These three types of women only respond well to white men. More significantly, these groups’ reply rates to non-whites is terrible. Asian women write back non-white males at 21.9%, Hispanic women at 22.9%, and white women at 23.0%. It’s here where things get interesting, for white women in particular. If you look at the match-by-race table before this one, the “should-look-like” one, you see that white women have an above-average compatibility with almost every group. Yet they only reply well to guys who look like them.
- Men don’t write black women back. Or rather, they write them back far less often than they should. Black women reply the most, yet get by far the fewest replies. Essentially every race—including other blacks—singles them out for the cold shoulder.
- White guys respond less overall. The average reply rate of non-white males is 48.1%, while white guys’ is only 40.5%. Basically, they write back about 20% less often. It’s ironic that white guys are worst responders, because as we saw above they in turn get the most replies.
- Exactly What to Say in a First Message:
- Be literate - Netspeak, bad grammar, and bad spelling are huge turn-offs.
- Avoid physical compliments - Although the data shows this advice holds true for both sexes, it’s mostly directed at guys, because they are way more likely to talk about looks.
- Use an unusual greeting - We took a close look at salutations. After all, the way you choose to start your initial message to someone is the “first impression of your first impression.” The more informal standard greetings: how’s it going, what’s up, and howdy all did very well.
- Bring up specific interests - Talking about specific things that interest you or that you might have in common with someone is a time-honored way to make a connection.
- If you’re a guy, be self-effacing - Awkward, sorry, apologize, kinda, and probably all made male messages more successful, yet none of them except sorry affects female messages. A lot of real-world dating advice tells men to be more confident, but apparently hemming and hawing a little works well online.
- Consider becoming an atheist - Mentioning your religion helps you, but, paradoxically, it helps you most if you have no religion.
Do you think the information listed here is helpful? Leave a comment below to let me know what you think. Since I don’t completely agree with the total content of this article, I will be posting some of my findings and “how to” tips for internet dating in the future.
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