At the end of this year, if I'm lucky, I'll celebrate my 70th birthday. Learning to handle the challenges that come with advancing years, worrying over wrinkles and weight loss, and working on aging gracefully are the tasks that I face everyday. Growing older brings a variety of internal responses, including the joy of getting older vs. the alternative, the fear of an uncertain future, the uncertainty of coping with new health challenges, and the loss of control over various aspects of your life. When I share my thoughts with my husband, I can count on his understanding. He's walking in the same shoes.
But when I talk to my children, they always say "Well Mom, you're almost 70. What do you expect?" It's a good thing I know they love me, even if they don't understand my internal chaos.
Since longevity isn't one of the blessings in my family, I find myself the oldest living relative to my sisters and brother, as well as a host of other relatives. What an awesome responsibility! Sometimes it seems like a cruel joke that they must rely on wisdom and advice from one such as myself. Fortunately, my life partner has the wealth of reason and common sense that steers us all in the right direction.
I remember the transition with my Mom, the time when I began to guide her instead of the other way around. Now, I'm experiencing the same transition with my children. It makes me smile and I accept it as the natural order of things. I consider myself lucky to have them in my life. They keep me motivated to learn new things, like emailing, texting, blogging and other up to the minute technology within my range of capability. The clothes and shoes I wear and other things I buy have a more modern edge thanks to my two daughters-the fashion police.
As I continue to evolve on the outside, I strive to relinquish my vanity. I've learned to quit counting new wrinkles and loss of muscle tone and collagen by turning to some things more satisfying than a firm jaw, perfect vision, and a steel-trap memory. I know youth and good looks are a distraction and that people are often constrained by appearances. The time comes when a person must appreciate internal attributes, like kindness and patience. It's not an easy trade, but it is a good one. Age doesn't diminish my attitude of being active and engaged, not does it change my spirit of adventure.
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