You may not think that your husband would ever cheat, but you catch yourself looking for signs of an affair. Perhaps you really are just being paranoid over nothing, or perhaps your heart is trying to tell you something. Either way, you may not catch a cheating spouse unless you know just what to look for.
Looking for signs of an affair is complicated, but here are a few things to watch for and things to keep in mind:
Behavioral Changes: A Brand New Me
If your husband’s grooming habits suddenly take a change for the better, then you might have to be concerned that you’re not the one he is trying to impress.
You notice your husband is dressing better. He's thrown out his old clothes and is suddenly dressing like a man of the new millennium. You may be thrilled that he is finally listening to your nagging, but it could be that he has a new woman he is trying to impress with his sense of style.
It is still not time to accuse him of anything, but make the extra effort to be there for him so that he doesn’t feel the need to seek attention elsewhere.
Suddenly no one has a name. He was out with “the guys” or “people from work” and doesn’t feel like naming names, adding perhaps that it was just the usual crowd of friends.
He can’t remember the name of the place that they went to for dinner or drinks, either. Suddenly getting details out of your man is like pulling teeth.
Be even more worried if he gives you details and then they change the next time you ask.
He can’t remember the name of the place that they went to for dinner or drinks, either. Suddenly getting details out of your man is like pulling teeth.
Be even more worried if he gives you details and then they change the next time you ask.
He's Bored, Preoccupied, and Withdrawing from You
He never wants to go out and do things with you, but suddenly he is bored and restless when he is home. Simple signs of affection like holding hands might become few and far between if your husband is having an affair and he may also pull away if you initiate contact. He might withdraw from conversations with you, leaving you feeling as if you can’t connect with him anymore.
Come to think of it, how long has it been since you two have had sex?
Come to think of it, how long has it been since you two have had sex?
The Sex is Different
If the two of you are still having sex, who initiates it? If he still initiates sex, it might be briefer than usual and less passionate. On the other hand, it might suddenly be incredible, which could be a reaction to how sexy his new fling makes him feel.
If his libido has suddenly shut off, you should be looking out for other signs of an affair. Keep in mind that he might just be stressed out or tired and don’t hold it against him if it seems like this is really the case. Be there for him and offer to give him what he needs.
If his libido has suddenly shut off, you should be looking out for other signs of an affair. Keep in mind that he might just be stressed out or tired and don’t hold it against him if it seems like this is really the case. Be there for him and offer to give him what he needs.
Your partner of many years has suddenly learned a new trick in bed. Once you come down from the rush of a new found pleasure, ask yourself where he might have learned how to do this new technique.
Sure, he might have seen it on the Internet or heard a buddy bragging, but if your man is not the kind to throw in new tricks every now and then, you may want to ask yourself where you think he really learned to touch you like that.
Shifting the Blame
Shifting the Blame
When you ask him why he is late, he launches into a rant about how hard he works and how little you appreciate him, when really you were just curious. If your husband reacts this way, you may have cause to be curious about something else. If your husband is suddenly getting defensive, it could be a sign of cheating. Look out for other behavioral changes before you decide how to deal with the situation.
Adding it Up
None of these things are proof positive that your husband is having an affair, but if you are nodding your head to all or many of the signs, you might have to take a serious look at your relationship.
Not every man behaves the same way when he cheats and some men actually get a buzz out of loving more than one woman, but the signs of an affair are still there.
Not every man behaves the same way when he cheats and some men actually get a buzz out of loving more than one woman, but the signs of an affair are still there.
If he is showing signs that he is having an affair, you might want to think about a confrontation.
If you are too uncomfortable to approach him with your suspicions, look for a way to confirm them before you confront him with your proof.
You may not like what he has to say about the state of your relationship, but your diligence and attentiveness may have caught him before the affair progressed into a full blown relationship.
You may even be able to salvage your life together if you confront him early enough.
Step up to the plate, keep your wits about you, and decide if you should make a move to confront your concerns. You may feel that you have everything to lose, but you might find out that having everything out in the open is better in the long term.
You may not like what he has to say about the state of your relationship, but your diligence and attentiveness may have caught him before the affair progressed into a full blown relationship.
You may even be able to salvage your life together if you confront him early enough.
Step up to the plate, keep your wits about you, and decide if you should make a move to confront your concerns. You may feel that you have everything to lose, but you might find out that having everything out in the open is better in the long term.
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